Are You Taking Baggage To Bed?
You wash your face and
brush your teeth, put on an alluring smile and hop into bed with your
sweetie – then start dragging your body image baggage under the covers with
For some people this
means bringing a tiny speck of a change purse – for others it’s a designer
handbag. For those who are the most consumed with their body image this
could mean an entire set of monogrammed leather bags in various sizes – or,
worse, a giant garbage sack filled to the brim!
Where’s the room for a
satisfying sex life with all of that?
The baggage consists of
those destructive thoughts you have about the size of your thighs, the tone
of your tummy, the amount of hair on your body. You worry that your partner
will notice – or worse, be completely repulsed by you.
If you drag all of those
negative beliefs about your body into bed, they can wreak havoc with your
Unlike you, your partner
is probably not thinking about your alleged “flaws” – they are thinking
about how much they want to make love to you, and be made love to in return.
They are turned on by the
touch of your skin, your smell, your smile. Most of all they are excited by
your confidence and openness – and your willingness to be in bed with them
in the first place!
If you are obsessed with
parts of your body, this can have a negative impact on the quality of your
sex life – for you AND your partner. Love-making is a way to bring a couple
closer together – but you can’t give yourself to the moment if you are
constantly wondering what your partner is thinking about parts of your body.
(It probably isn’t what you think!)
Take a moment before you
hop into bed to put those fears and insecurities to rest. Your sweetie is
waiting for you – ALL of you – to hop into bed. So look into that bathroom
mirror, give yourself a 1000 watt smile and remember that it’s the whole
package that’s delivered, not just parts.
Set that baggage outside
the door, and hang up the Do Not Disturb sign. You’ve got better
things to think about!
Jennifer Clare, author of
The No Sweat Guide To Fitness and the founder of
Stop Weighting. Do you need a coach to help you stop yo-yo dieting? Is
is time to get that weight off of your mind?
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