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Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years or More

Back-Talk! by Sheryl P. Kurland

 


In this new column – “Back-Talk!” – we go to the real-life relationship experts – couples who have been married 50 years or more.  Husband and wife will each give their experienced answer to a relationship problem.

 

  

Back-Talk! 

 

I have never been jealous of my wife until now.  She recently accepted a fantastic job in a company in which her peers are predominantly men.  I am so proud of her, but underneath I am anguished.  I have absolutely no reason to doubt her loyalty to our relationship but a sense of suspicion is already stirring.  Intellectually, I know this is ridiculous.  I just don't know what to do to stop the jealousy from getting out of control and possibly becoming destructive to our relationship.  How can I arrest these feelings?
 
-Mel

 


 

Your wife is working in a company where her peers are predominantly men...There is safety in numbers.  When she comes home, and she is loving and attentive to you, you need not worry.  Your wife has a job that she likes, and that is a big plus.  Of course, the extra income is a plus, too.  However, if her personality has changed, and she becomes critical of you, it is time to have a frank discussion with her.  Attractive men will come and go, but the most attractive man should be you, her husband.  It is important to verbalize this.

- Florence

 

If you have always had a good, trusting relationship with your wife, why should it change?  The problem is your sense of self that is lacking.  You need to feel confident that your relationship with your wife will always stay front and center.  If it is truly good, it should continue to be good.

- Merwin

 

Florence and Merwin have been married 58 years.




Journal Question for you: Are you feeling unsure or jealous of your relationship? Why? When did it start? Have you felt this before? When?
Taking a moment now to get those feelings down on paper and out of your heart and head could be transformational. Maybe you'll notice a pattern of thinking or reacting that you can break or you will find the words and the courage to discuss these feelings with your Loved One. Anything is possible - give it a try.
 

 

 

Do you have a relationship problem you need help resolving?  Submit questions to Sheryl Kurland, author of Everlasting Matrimony,
at Sheryl@EverlastingMatrimony.com.  She’ll have your question answered by a couple married 50-plus years. 
Visit her book web site, www.EverlastingMatrimony.com.


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