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Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years or More

Back-Talk! by Sheryl P. Kurland


In this new column – “Back-Talk!” – we go to the real-life relationship experts – couples who have been married 50 years or more.  Husband and wife will each give their experienced answer to a relationship problem.





I have become an "interpreter," and it's driving me nuts.  My husband mumbles.  Our six-year old child speaks like a child.  So, when my husband and child talk to each other, conversations get completely jumbled.  Because I have an ear to understand both of them, I end up fielding questions, intercepting conversations, and interfering when arguments break out due to misunderstood words.  If I don't do this, then they are hearing wrong information from each other, and often get mad at each other.  I'm getting mentally exhausted.  I want to get out of this position, but I'm afraid of the bedlam that's certain to break out.  What solutions can you offer to resolve this entire situation?





It's my opinion that your husband has to listen to himself when he is conversing with your six-year old child.  This can be done by positioning a small tape recorder close to both of them.  He is not aware that he is teaching his child to be illiterate.  It will have an effect on the child with her friends and especially in school.  Your husband should realize and recognize the problem that is affecting his child.  He should be willing to seek a speech therapist for correction.



You do have a problem, especially because your child is the one that is affected.  You have to tell your husband that his mumbling is creating a very noticeable problem.  When you are talking to the child, try to correct her speech, even if she says "Well, Daddy talks like that."  I'm sure in time you'll be hearing from your daughter's teacher.  That' the time to make him  to a speech instructor for help.  Don't you think some of your husband's friends are talking about him and his mumbling?



Forrest and Marcella have been married 66 years

Journal Question for you: Are you in the "middle" of any relationships? Have you taken on the job of peace maker, interpreter, finisher, protector? Why? When did it start? Do you take on like roles in other relationship? What price are you paying - physically, emotionally, financially?

Taking a moment now to get those feelings down on paper and out of your heart and head could be transformational. Maybe you'll notice a pattern of thinking or reacting that you can break or you will find the words and the courage to discuss these feelings with your Loved One. Anything is possible - give it a try.



Do you have a relationship problem you need help resolving?  Submit questions to Sheryl Kurland, author of Everlasting Matrimony,
at  She’ll have your question answered by a couple married 50-plus years. 
Visit her book web site,

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